"I have had more trouble with myself than with any other man I've met."
As I listened to Dacher's "Loving Kindness" exercise, I realized that often the person standing in the way of personal growth and development is ourselves. I found the experience to be enlightening -- as I closed my eyes and listened to the words/music - I was confronted with several thoughts/images from my past. Times when I was NOT showing loving-kindness and times when loving-kindness was not shown to me.
What I realized was that I was still holding onto these images -- that there was pain and regret wrapped up in each...and that to move forward in my own growth I needed to accept them and approach each with openness, love and kindness.
With the above in mind, the exercise was not difficult per se...but it did represent an "Ah HA!" moment and also a release from some self-torture of sorts. I found the exercise VERY beneficial and plan to repeat it several times to see what images come forward - and also to use the exercise as a means to open myself to new perspectives AND to let go of the pain associated with past regrets. Both approaches represent an opportunity for personal growth and development and I plan to recommend the exercise to my friends and clients.
I consider this exercise to be a form of "mental workout" -- as it involves imagination that is "in touch" with the body. To be complete though, a true mental exercise is one that not only relates to the body, but also engages and energizes the mind. Caplan (2006) offers a series of "brain calisthenics" that require short bursts of focus - such as Sudoku , word games/tricks which help the mind stay fresh and even after just 20-minutes of doing these exercises, I feel more awake and freshed. "The busy brain" reports that such mental activity can help an individual ward off brain atrophy and from a neuroscience perspective, it can help (re)build neural pathways to help keep me mentally young (which is great because at the moment my body has not yet gotten that message....). I work the daily puzzles in the paper, and also play chess each day -- based on the research, these "breaks" help stretch my mind in new ways...and keep me mentally sharp.
Now I just need to learn to get out of my own way....what about all of you?
References
(1995). "The busy brain." Psychology Today 28(2): 24.
Caplan, J. (2006). "BRAIN CALISTHENICS." Time 167(3): 114-114.
6 comments:
I totally agree. I feel that we do stand in our own way at times. I know I do. I too found the loving-kindness exercise more beneficial then the others. It just made more sense and it asked me to think of things personal to me which in my opinion allow me to fully put things into perspective.
Hi David,
I am still aimlessly trying to figure out how to respond to other people's comments on my blog so, I will respond here to your last comment on my blog! You had wondered why I wanted to lose five pounds and it really is simple, I feel better in my clothes at that weight because I bought them five pounds ago and some of them are tight...I promise, nothing psychological going on..just feel better at that weight and have more energy!!!
As to your blog post on "meeting the enemy". Is that not the truth. My husband always tells me that I am my own worst enemy because I am hard on myself and expect a lot out of myself. I have a competitive nature in sports and with myself. I can often set goals too high for myself but, I won't stop doing that. Goals are what I live by. My short term goal is a lot like yours, getting myself out of the way. It really is something we all can practice each day and if we never get to the "pinnacle" of mental fitness, at least we are trying! Have a great day.
Jill
David,
Love you pictures of Alex Gray. Yes, we are the only ones that create suffering in our own lives. It takes courage. love and kindness to get over those issues, and once we do, things become a lot more easier in life i would imagine. Thanks for your words and input. Jess
Hi David, as always your blog is eloquent. I will agree with the fact that we stand in the way of our own progress, sometimes I feel we do this because of fear of failure. If we are the hindrance to our own success then we will never know or have to face our failure. Relaxation brings contentment, and peace,I found this exercise brought both. I love the sound of the ocean and the native sound of the flute. Looking forward to your next post. Sharon
I must say that your blog posting is inspirational. I have not had an opportunity to listen to the CD, because I didn't realize I had not received it until this exercise. Anyway, your blog is thorough and I have an gained a little insight about the exercise that we have to do. I am sure that I would probably come to some of the conclusions that you have drawn. The main one is that we are constantly in our own way. We can plant our feet firmly about things that radiate from within us or from without, and we don't know how to move into a more positive, loving mindset.
I hope that I gain as much value by listening as you have.
Pam
Hi there,
Great post! I am in agreement with you that it created an "Ah Ha"moment! We get so busy in our lives that we truly forget the benefit of helping others not just for them but for ourselves also!
I love helping others but find that time gets in the way! I have to get rid of that excuse and move forward towards daily loving kindness!
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